Links of the Week:

Internet Safety:

via InternetSafety101.

The Internet has opened up an exciting new world filled with benefits for everyone. It has also opened the door to many potential dangers for children.

Childbirth:

via Deep Fear of Childbirth Drives Some C-Sections | Healthland | TIME.com.

The mere idea of pushing a fully grown baby into the world the natural way can give even the bravest expectant mother pause. But a small number of women are so terrified of childbirth that it dramatically raises their odds of delivering by emergency or elective cesarean section, according to new research to be published in the international journal Acta Obstetricia et Gynecologica Scandinavica AOGS.

Sleep:

via Why Sleep Is the Ultimate Parental Bugaboo: Go the F— to Sleep Offers a Clue | Healthland | TIME.com.

For all the lead-up to having a baby, newborns don’t do much: eat, sleep, poop. Pooping happens without any parental intervention. Eating is a function of breast or bottle. But, ah, sweet slumber — that is the wild card.

It is a “snowy day” here in Chicago but the sun is trying to make an appearance.

Have wonderful weekend!

Preschoolers are intensively learning rules and testing boundaries. That means yours may gleefully flout your directives and push the limits you impose whenever she gets the chance. And though a preschooler is much more capable of rational thought than a toddler, shes still ruled by her emotions, and can turn on a dime from a happy-go-lucky kid to a flailing, wailing wild thing.

via Time-outs: How to make them work ages 3 to 4 | BabyCenter.

We use time out at our house and usually it gives us all time to calm down. My little granddaughter usually responds to this method of behavior modification.

In fact, I use meditation…deep breathing time-outs when things get particularly hectic during the day.

So my suggestion would be to teach your child or grandchild how to quietly breathe whenever you get a quiet moment with them. My granddaughter shows an interest in yoga whenever she sees me practicing…so seize the opportunity to teach kids whenever you can.

Here is a summary about time-outs from Baby Center.

• What is a time-out? It is not a punishment…but a time to modify  a child’s behavior, a time to get control again.
• Time the time out One minute for each year so three minutes for a 3 year olds is what is recommended.
• Make it a specific place for time-outs preferably one without any distractions but where you can observe them
• Be consistent with what a child gets a time out for
• Follow-up with a discussion about the behavior that caused the necessity of a time out.
• Have time-ins for good behavior. Spend extra time with your child and tell him when is doing well.

Time-outs definitely have a place in behavior modification when used effectively within good guidelines they can help a child gain back his control and that is a good thing.

NOTEWORTHY WEDNESDAY!

 Children, Obesity, Epidemic

Sadly, these words can all be used together to describe the plight of many youngsters today. Nearly every week there is something significant written about the obesity epidemic. It has even been related to child neglect and abuse with some states wondering if morbidly obese children should be put into foster care.

The goal is primary prevention ….prevention that starts with education of parents and preventing children from becoming overweight as infants and continuing to be overweight in childhood on into adulthood.

It has been found in some studies that a high percentage of parents do not realize that overweight children face the same health risks as overweight adults…high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes. All of these medical problems have the potential of shortening a person’s life. For some reason the message and myth that a fat baby is a healthy one is still prominent in the minds of many parents and grandparents. Back in the day this was thought to be a truth that was widely accepted. For many years, it has been scientifically known that this is a false belief.

“Obesity is likely going to limit a person’s life expectancy and increase their future health care costs,” she said. “So for us, it was a realization that we need to help parents better understand that childhood obesity does track into adulthood.”

Both parents and nonparents cited parents as the group with the greatest role in preventing childhood obesity. But parents were more likely than nonparents to endorse an “it takes a village” approach to limiting childhood weight gain. About 81 percent of parents supported requiring healthy food choices in areas with vending machines, compared with 77 percent of nonparents. Likewise, 77 percent of parents supported insurance coverage of obesity treatment, compared with 69 percent of non parents. http://www.livescience.com/15847-parents-childhood-obesity.html

It is my belief that education beginning in the pre-natal period is where prevention has to begin. A healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby is first…then ongoing education and well baby care is the next step.

 http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/la-heb-childhood-obesity-ads-20120103,0,4311598.story

The Strong4Life site offers “Learn,” “Ask” and “Get Started” pages for families, featuring information, resources and tips on exercise, nutrition and losing weight.

My feeling is DO “whatever it takes” to prevent the children of today from having a shorter life expectancy than their  parents.

Bring on the billboards…bring on the controversy…and the arguments…tax sugar loaded products…hold fast food companies accountable for providing healthy choices… go ahead and criticize parents for their own eating habits and the way they feed their kids…if  that’s what it will take to prevent this epidemic from spreading to the next generation…just do it.

Concurrently…develop programs to educate parents and kids to make better food choices from the get go …and if a child is in danger of death from obesity complications then unfortunately Family Services will have intervene to supervise the child’s health care. I am not in favor of taking a child from a family unless it is truly a case of child abuse and neglect with determining factors. But uncontrolled obesity in a child may soon be considered abusive and neglectful.

Nelson TF, Stovitz SD, Thomas M, LaVoi NM, Bauer KW, & Neumark-Sztainer D 2011. Do youth sports prevent pediatric obesity? A systematic review and commentary. Current sports medicine reports, 10 6, 360-70 PMID: 2207139710Share2inShare

via Weighty Matters: After School Sports Increase Junk Food and Total Calorie Consumption.

Vaccinations…a dilemma for some parents. Get some more answers from a doctor and a parent in the link below.

via Answers to common vaccine questions.

Here are some of the most common questions I encounter regarding vaccines and my answers.  I’m writing this post, from a parent to a parent, because I want to equip you with accurate information to protect your children.

Every time Im out with my kids — this seems to happen:An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, “Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast.”

via Glennon Melton: Dont Carpe Diem.

Has this happened to you???

What do you say when it does?

I find it kind of preachy when someone else tells me to ‘enjoy life’… it’s short.

First of all…a stranger knows nothing about me or how I look at life.

This being said…I have to admit I have made this statement to others sometimes but probably will not do so without more thought in the future…instead I may help them through one of those difficult mom moments (also dad moments) as  suggested by Glennon Melton.

I have had many “Kairos” moments as a mother and grandmother although they come easier as a grandmother. I think it has to do with the wisdom that comes with age.

Kairos (καιρός) is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment (the supreme moment). The ancient Greeks had two words for time, chronos and kairos. While the former refers to chronological or sequential time, the latter signifies a time in between, a moment of indeterminate time in which something special happens. What the special something is depends on who is using the word. While chronos is quantitative, kairos has a qualitative nature.^[1]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kairos

Age has made me realize more and more ‘Kairos’ moments…it has made me more patient and tolerant of others…their personalities, their idiosyncrasies and their flaws…it has made me tolerant of my own flaws.

‘Kairos moments’ are simply more meaningful to me than ‘chronos’ moments.

Looking for ‘Kairos’ moments in my day to day life makes being a mom and grandmother not necessarily more fun but more joyous.

And I  don’t worry about ‘Carpe Diem’.

A couple of weeks ago this newspaper headline  Miramonte School Closing For 2 Days Over Double Teacher Arrests; Parents Protest PHOTOS, VIDEO made me sick.

Children are not protected from predators even at school. How do parents deal with news like this? Does it make you more of a helicopter parent?

I do not have children in school any more but I do have a grandchild who will be in school soon enough….worrying…

When I start to worry…it is a signal for me to go to my computer and GOOGLE…to find out just what is being done to protect children from being abused.

An interesting but sad fact is this, in most cases of child abuse…the child is abused by someone he/she knows right in their own family…which is why it does not always get recognized immediately. A mother, sometimes, does not believe her child and inadvertently enables the abuser. Sadly, it can be a very complicated scenario even involving more than one child in a family.

In my google search, I came across a program developed through ChildHelp.org. This program deals with ‘primary’ prevention and has learning modules that are thorough and user friendly. Child Help recognizes that abuse comes in many forms, sexual, emotional, physical and even bullying. Kathie Lee Gifford shares a video in which she explores the ‘primary’ prevention approach to child abuse. Kathie Lee has been a child advocate and worked with Child Help for many years.

• Top 10 Parenting Bloggers on Twitter | MyMediaInfo Blog.

Here is a list that I came across in my internet ‘travels’ this week. I found it so very interesting. These are bloggers who on the top of their mark. They are accomplished writers and give other parenting bloggers like myself a bar to measure themselves by.

I cannot lie…I would love to be on this list…I would even be happy if I were in the top 100 Parenting Bloggers on Twitter, if there is such a list.

For me:

• Blogging is a passion…it is away of sharing with others, which is what I have done professionally for my entire career as a maternal child nurse and clinical social worker.
• Blogging allows me to reach out farther than I ever imagined possible in my lifetime.
• Blogging is an opportunity to share the knowledge that I have gathered over a long career of helping others.
• Blogging is my way of thanking those who generously helped me along the way in nursing and social work, especially those who shared their professional knowledge freely so I could be better at what I do.

I am ever grateful for this wonderful opportunity and grateful for my followers and those that click on the ‘LIKE’ icon and those that comment.

Maybe someday I will have a ranking among those parenting bloggers that are listed above…I will keep on trying.

In that effort, please join me on Facebook (Parenting in the Loop) and Twitter  (@lorettelavine) if you are so inclined …I will try not to disappoint you.

Thank you all and please let me know what you want to read about.

Midwife or Doctor?

Many pregnant women ask this question and the answer is not an easy one.

Let’s face it, we have all heard the ‘horror story’ labor and delivery tales. They are very frightening to the first time mom-to-be. It is a wonder any woman who has heard one of these stories chooses to get pregnant.

As a former labor and delivery nurse I surely have played a role in someone’s birth story…I hope it was one of the nice ones.

If you are planning to have a baby or are currently pregnant you may be considering going to a midwife for your prenatal care. There are a few things you need to consider;

• Medical health: how is your general medical health and would you be considered high-risk due some underlying medical condition?
• Approach: what type of approach do you prefer…are you looking for a practitioner that is more holistic in his/her approach?
• Personal needs:you will need to know your own individual needs and find a practitioner who is respectful of them.
• Setting:what kind of setting are you hoping for your labor and delivery…would you consider a birthing center or are you more inclined to want a natural delivery with options, such as epidural anesthesia, that are only available in a hospital?
• Cost factor: what does your insurance cover … does it cover a birthing center delivery with a nurse mid-wife or a trained mid-wife home delivery.

Practitioner qualifications are sometimes confusing as well:

Obstetricians are generally board certified in obstetrics and gynecology…they are trained to deal with pregnancy, labor and delivery and any complications and emergencies that might occur. Physicians are many times waiting for a disaster to occur which is why they are quick to intervene in many cases. It is simply their focus as physicians and surgeons.

CNMs, (Certified Nurse Midwives) many times work alongside physicians…they tend to take more time with their patients; they are more apt to try measures in labor that will help to avoid use of pain medications and other interventions unless absolutely necessary. That is not to say you cannot find a physician that will do these things also.

Direct-entry midwives..they are not nurses but they are licensed and trained to deliver babies. They do home deliveries as do some CNMs.

Life is full of choices. When you are pregnant choosing the right person to take care of you during your pregnancy is extremely important…you need to feel comfortable, confident and secure in their approach and their qualifications to assist you through a healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery.

 How to find a midwife

• American College of Nurse-Midwives operates a toll-free hotline (888/MIDWIFE) that lists CNMs in your area. For general information, call 202/728-9860; write to 818 Connecticut Ave. NW, Suite 900, Washington, DC 20006; or check out the group’s website at www.midwife.org.
• Maternity Center Association publishes a booklet, Journey to Parenthood($6), with information on choosing a maternity-care provider. Call 212/777-5000 or Write to 281 Park Ave. South, 5th Floor, New York, NY 10010. Visit the MCA website at www.maternity.org.
• Midwives Alliance of North America can refer you to direct-entry midwives and CNMs in your area. Call 888/923-6262 or Visit their website atwww.mana.org.
• National Association of Childbearing Centers can provide a list of birth centers in your area, as well as information on how to select a birth center. Send a $1 donation to 3123 Gottschall Rd., Perkiomenville, PA 18074.

Should You Use a Midwife? – Parenting.com.

Doctor or midwife: Which is right for you? | BabyCenter.

http://www.acog.org/About_ACOG/News_Room/News_Releases/2011/The_American_College_of_Obstetricians_and_Gynecologists_Issues_Opinion_on_Planned_Home_Births

Links of the week:

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/02132012why-the-french-dont-need-parenting-books/

Druckerman can talk all she wants about the Pause, and Le cadre (the frame), and the strict adherence to meal times, but the main difference between French and American mothers is culture.

It’s not that French moms are doing everything right, but that they believe they are.

French parenting

via Why Sleep Matters to Babies and Parents | Science of Mom.

Yes, sleep deprivation is a normal part of parenting. But when babies and parents suffer from chronic sleep deprivation, we need to be seriously concerned. Babies need sleep to support healthy development. Parents need sleep to maintain sanity. Sleep is a universal human need.

via Affluent Foreign-Born Parents in N.Y. Prefer Public Schools – NYTimes.com.

Miriam and Christian Rengier, a German couple moving to New York, visited some private elementary schools in Manhattan last spring in search of a place for their son. They immediately noticed the absence of ethnic diversity, and the chauffeurs ferrying children to the door.

Happy Friday…Have a great weekend!

This is a special day and kids need Valentine love too …great link to kid kindnesses .