Things I Wish I Knew Before Having Kids…

Today is my birthday…I have learned so much in my life and there is so much more to learn.

As I reflect back…there are things that I would have wanted to know before I had kids.

But I can’t lie, in many ways I am glad that I had to learn through experience and by sharing with my mother and by remembering the ways that my grandmother dealt with parenting issues since she was my ‘mom’ when my own mother was working.

Anyway, I post this today in celebration and thank you to all who have made this a Happy Birthday!

10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Having Kids | The Stir.

I read the above post today and I really did not enjoy it…maybe it was the language that was used ….perhaps, it was just that I did not relate to what this mom had to say at least, not in the way that she chose to say it.

What I can relate to, is the fact that looking back there is plenty that I personally wish I had known before having kids of my own.

But then again…may be knowing too much would have take away some of the joys that come with learning new things too late to use them in your own life but not too late to use these nuggets of knowledge with your grandchildren.

Here is my list of “Wish I Had Known…”

• Having a baby would change my life forever and ever…for me this was a good change.
• Two children are more than double one and three is exponentially more than three and so on….
• Two babies in diapers is TWO in diapers ….two in diapers cannot be that difficult is not a true statement.
• Having kids close in age  is not necessarily  better…they will not necessarily be very close to each other nor friends.
• Children are all different when it comes to toilet training…
• You can help your children to self-soothe themselves to sleep.
• You should not establish a bedtime habit with your kids that you won’t want to continue until they graduate from high school.
• You do not need to carry around guilt for a lifetime if you did not breast feed.
• Pregnancies and deliveries are all different …
• There are really good reasons to have to have a c-section.
• Temper tantrums can be diffused…read “The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp.
• Do not be the one to hold your child when they get ‘shots’ or any invasive procedures…be present only as support for hugs  and kisses afterwards.

to be continued….

I could go on indefinitely.

However, the more I learn makes me realize how ‘simple’ my life was 30 years ago without the internet. It makes me appreciate the importance of my own mother’s understanding and help.

It was enough knowledge then…it had to be…

What things do you wish you had known before having kids?

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“Dont Potty Train Your Baby”…What???

I’m a pediatric urologist, and here’s my response to the parents of Izabella Oniciuc, the famous potty-trained 6-month-old: I know you are excited about your precocious pooper, but watch your daughter closely, because she may be headed for trouble.

Potty training is and has always been a topic up for discussion…after potty training two girls of my own and helping with my granddaughter, I feel comfortable saying that each child is different.

My statement, that each child is different in and of itself, is not earth shattering, But if you deeply believe that every child is unique it is my opinion that potty training will viewed as more of a natural process without the pressure that some parents feel with all the well meaning advice that they read and hear.

I think that this particular article has a lot to say to parents about some of the ideas that are ‘floating’ around potty training.

“My son wasn’t trained until he was 3.5 and it just clicked. My daughter is 3 and is giving me a hard time, but I have a feeling it will be the same way. Rest assured, they will not be going off to school still wearing diapers, so I don’t push it. There are more important things in life to stress over.”

via Steve Hodges, M.D.: A Doctor Responds: Dont Potty Train Your Baby.

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Co-sleeping good or bad… safe or dangerous….

Co-sleeping...

Common sense certainly does enter into the equation…but some of us are gifted with more common sense than others.

It would be nice to think that there is a clear answer to what is safest and best for baby when it comes to eating, peeing and popping and sleeping.

Formula feeding…breastfeeding ….Cloth diapers…”pampers”….diaper free (elimination communication)….cribs…co-sleeping?

So many decisions so many discussions without any clearly right or wrong answers.

What ever you choose for your child…make sure you make the choice based on “common sense” for your lifestyle and what will work best for you, your family and child.

Do your homework…it is important for your child.

Cosleeping is not the devil.  Is it dangerous?  Yes.  But so is sleeping in a crib.  Pack and plays are death traps. Do we still use them?  Of course.  The key is common sense.  Something we sorely lack in this world.

There are safety measures you have to take no matter where your baby sleeps.  To put your baby in a crib you have rules. Common sense rules like no heavy blankets, pillows, toys, bumpers, gaps in the mattress, bars of a certain width, etc.

Cosleeping has safety rules too: do not drink or smoke before bed, sleep on a firm mattress or futon, no heavy blankets or pillows, don’t sleep with the baby if you have sleep apnea or if your bed is too small, put your mattress on the floor, etc.

So is cosleeping dangerous? Yes, if done without care or thought.  So think.  Use the mind that the creator (whoever she/he is) gave you and think about what you are doing with your babies.  Don’t blindly follow trends or advice from ads plastered on bus shelters.  Do research and make informed decisions with a big dollop of common sense tailored to your own little family’s needs.

via Common Sense and Cosleeping | Tales of a Kitchen Witch.

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