Single parents can be the best…and their children can flourish.
I admit to being bias in this discussion… my mother was a single parent.
She was divorced from my father, she worked and had the help of my grandmother…who was the “stay at home mom“.
My “Nana” was always home for me while my mother was working two jobs to make ends meet. I did homework with my mom on the telephone… I remember her teaching me fractions.
I knew things were different in my home but I never felt deprived even though I went to a private school where my friends were kids who lived in houses with big backyards…they had their own rooms and their moms were able to participate in school activities…they had dads that came home at night and had dinner with them. My life was different but not deprived
Although there were other single moms in our apartment building…I would not say that the ones I knew considered themselves role models…they were all struggling to keep life moving along smoothly for their kids.
But these women were my role models…I learned from these women that moms could hold a family together…they could work and be moms at the same time.
Grandmothers and aunts and uncles were important too…the extended family was present and accounted for.
In the 50’s and 60’s single moms did not draw attention to themselves…there were so many reasons for this…religion and in my mother’s life Catholicism was one big factor. The Church frowned on and condemned divorce. She was a practicing Catholic.
A single parent support system outside of the extended family was minimal as there was no internet or social media. So lets hear it for social media as a plus for keeping single parents connected.
If moms were breathing they got custody in divorce decisons…shared custody was unheard of…I saw my father on the weekends…we had lunch and visited with the “other grandparents”.
But my role models were my grandmother and my mother…both of whom showed me that women were strong…selfless…and could love and take care of children without a dad in the house.
I support single parenthood and I admire women who choose to raise their children without a significant other.
High fives to all of you.
I am including an excerpt from Christine Coppa, a single mom, who writes about her adventures raising her son. She is a seriously concerned mom and writes with a great sense of responsibility and humor. You can find her on Facebook and blogging. Also check out her book “Rattled”.
Single parents and their kids can flourish, and there are plenty of examples to prove it. Make a list of single parents—or children raised by a single parent—who inspire you, and refer to it when you’re having a rough day. Some of the people on my list include President Obama, who was raised by his single mom and grandparents; President Clinton, who was brought up primarily by his mom; and actress Bridget Moynahan, who went through her pregnancy alone after splitting from Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. I’m not just inspired by celebrities though; my real life friend Matt who blogs at mattlogelin.com about unexpected single fatherhood is another confidence booster for me. Seeing all of these success stories and many more unfold before my eyes is proof that single parenthood is not only manageable, but an incredible gift that allows me to shape my son into a wonderful human being.
If you need more inspiration, check out the book Holding Her Head High: 12 Single